9.21.2005
The Real Reason Bass Players Always Get Laid
Nobody sets out to be a bass player.
The kids who were forced into piano lessons who acquired some genuine musical education end up on keyboards.
The person without much musical talent but with some sense of timing and with the strength of the ox and who owns a truck big enough to hold all the gear ends up the drummer.
The pecking order of the band really comes down to the guitarists though.
All guitarists want to be the lead player. All the flashy stuff with none of the hard work to set up the star. The rhythm guitarist could be a better player but the lead guitarist is presumed by everyone to be best.
The guy who was never in the running for a six stringer gets to play bass. And change strings for the other guitarists if he's not too ham-fisted. And is usually turned way down in the mix anyway.
Only in the rare cases where the bass player owns the truck or the PA does he get to play a bass solo which bores the crowd out of their minds since inevitably the drummer will have been given a solo already if the band is this democratic.
The drummer drinks more and can take more drugs than the bass player too, so there's no way to outdo anyone there.
The bass player lives under a crushing inferiority complex which would be terminal to any self-respecting person.
The only thing the bass player has any chance to be believed competitive in is sexual activity.
The drummer is usually too far out of it to properly perform. The keyboardist is such a wanker that they do all their snuggles solo. The real guitarist have to spend a lot more time practicing those tricky passages.
The bass player only had to learn those 5 notes after all - he's got a lot of time on his hands and is the person the groupies are most likely to meet.
It's not because they're cool or clever. Bass players are just so available and desperate for recognition that they need to always get laid.
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i saw that somewhere and i needed to post it.. because it is generally true.. unless your name was or is lou ΒΆ 02:24
The kids who were forced into piano lessons who acquired some genuine musical education end up on keyboards.
The person without much musical talent but with some sense of timing and with the strength of the ox and who owns a truck big enough to hold all the gear ends up the drummer.
The pecking order of the band really comes down to the guitarists though.
All guitarists want to be the lead player. All the flashy stuff with none of the hard work to set up the star. The rhythm guitarist could be a better player but the lead guitarist is presumed by everyone to be best.
The guy who was never in the running for a six stringer gets to play bass. And change strings for the other guitarists if he's not too ham-fisted. And is usually turned way down in the mix anyway.
Only in the rare cases where the bass player owns the truck or the PA does he get to play a bass solo which bores the crowd out of their minds since inevitably the drummer will have been given a solo already if the band is this democratic.
The drummer drinks more and can take more drugs than the bass player too, so there's no way to outdo anyone there.
The bass player lives under a crushing inferiority complex which would be terminal to any self-respecting person.
The only thing the bass player has any chance to be believed competitive in is sexual activity.
The drummer is usually too far out of it to properly perform. The keyboardist is such a wanker that they do all their snuggles solo. The real guitarist have to spend a lot more time practicing those tricky passages.
The bass player only had to learn those 5 notes after all - he's got a lot of time on his hands and is the person the groupies are most likely to meet.
It's not because they're cool or clever. Bass players are just so available and desperate for recognition that they need to always get laid.
---
i saw that somewhere and i needed to post it.. because it is generally true.. unless your name was or is lou ΒΆ 02:24
